Walt: Write introductions that orientate and hook in my audience
Have you ever made butter with your class before? We have, the stuff you need to make it is only cream. You shake the cream to make it, it takes like 10 minutes.
We added a little bit of salt into cream, after that we had to shake it for about 10 minutes. Can you believe it was that easy. I Couldn't!!!
We got to taste it on bread when we were done, but first we had to get in groups of 4. My friend Tom said “It is nice”. But to me it was too creamy because it never went into the fridge.
Well that is how you make butter.
I agree your introduction is clear, we just need to work on hooking in your reader. Try and use some of the techniques we have been practising in class Martin.
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